The Hills Are Aliiiiiiiiive......

Ahhhh, so begins the beloved song of one of my all time favorite musicals!  We finally had an "all girls night"!  It was  A BLAST!  We got together and watched "The Sound of Music"....our Austrian friend had NEVER seen it before and that was not to be tolerated, lol.  So we had yummy snacks and met up at Theresa's house and put a sheet on the wall for the projector.  It was a great evening.  :)
And today was really awesome.  :)  I went to Rynek Jezyncki to find my "Good Armenian"  (you should be at least chuckling to yourself i hope) and i actually found him today!  I gave him one of my Arizona postcards (i bought a bunch of Arizona postcards to give out as thank you's while i am here in Poland) with a short thank you in Polish and English.  Once again he tried to talk with me....all i could say was "nie rozumiem" and "powtoc mow volniej" (there's a bunch of accents that my computer can't give those letters so...they aren't really spelt right). By the end of the very-one-sided-conversation, i think we communicated that i was going to be staying here until the summer and i would go back to Arizona to finish school and i might come back to Poland--well, for them i think it was more a "you should come back to Poland!"  Oh, and i am pretty sure we established once more that i really need to learn Polish.  LOL.  But he seemed really excited that i returned to thank him with that card.  LOL.  I can see it now, his grandchildren gathered around him as he tells them the story of Amanda the Arizonan and pulls out the little card to show them......lol, okay, maybe i am giving it a bit of an exaggerated significance, but he really seemed excited! 
Today was Holy Start in the morning and the afternoon with the kids and an evening saying goodybe to a friend, Anna, who is going back to Germany in a few days.  :(  We had a great time and went to a real authentic little restaurant at which, i tried "Bigos" for the first time!!!  And apparently you love or hate it, and i definitely LOVED it.  :)  Super tasty.  It is fermented cabbage--aka saurkraut--cooked with sausage and onions.  So it is warm and o-so-very-tasty.  After dinner we went to visit the cathedral, which was really quite neat at night with all the lights!  And then we hung out at Steph's house.....drinking cocoa, chatting, watching yodeling videos and looking up "Oktoberfest" on Wikipedia and watching BAYWATCH trailers and David Hasselhoff youtube videos....you know, the kinds of things normal girls do in their free time, LOL.  It wasa great evening....i am sure gonna miss Anna.  But she has told me i am more than welcome to come to her home in Frankfurt, Germany anytime.  :) 
So i am reading this book about Spiritual Warfare and it is very interesting....it is about the size of a small encyclopedia....but i think i might finish it sometime in the next....3 months, lol.  Last night was really amazing because my flat mate and i don't always get a chance to really talk about life and what is going on, we kind of just exchange light and casual conversation.  But the other night we stayed up late just talking about spiritual things and .... it was so nice just to be able to talk with her.  She is really understanding and a great listener and when we talk it is really special for me.  She just loves the Lord so simply and so truly.  It is sweet.  She had a period in her life where she didn't know God but she says she was always looking for Him.  She just didn't know how to find Him. 
As i was walking the other day, i was listening to Nichole Nordman--her music lyrics are absolutely amazing.  And my heart has really just been so...i dont know how to explain it.....it's like every partical of me wants to be about God and i want my whole life to be about Him and i want everything about me to reflect Him.  But i get stuck.  I feel like, "God HOW can i make everything about You?  How can i live a life that is just this light for You that NO ONE who is around me can deny?"  I feel like if i am beign the Christian, the follower, the Child He has called me to be, and has empowered me to be, people around me should be effected.....should call Him LORD!  But i don't see that as yet, and sometimes.....it just makes me wonder, "God am i doing enough?  Am i doing it right?  what more can i do?  What should i do different?"  I know that i am His chosen vessel; that maybe i am the one person in these peoples lives God will use to give them the evidence of Him they need to trust Him, and that makes me feel so....not burdened, but my heart is burdened in that, i feel like i must do all that is possible to show the people He has placed in my life, the power He has and the love He has.  And it truly seems like such an impossible task because i know how often i fail, how flawed i am and how distracted i can become.  And it kills me to think that there is something i could be doing that i am not doing, or that there are things i am doing that are not the est thing to do.  My constant prayers is just that God would give me His intimate knowledge of these people; that i would be able to do for them what He would Himself do for them were He physically here.
I told Dagmara, "Dagmara, i can't help but talk to God about you, and i can't help but talk to you about God.  I love both of you and i can't not talk about Him to you."  You see, this is the problem for me.  It is like, so very unnatural for me to hold back in conversation when it comes to spiritual....but it is like, i fear scaring people away in the beginning and then they never really get to know me.  Coming off too strong in the beginning so that right away they put up some kind of wall to me.  I want them to understand i value them as a person and view them as an individual, not just a potential number to add to some religious listing.  Or not just as someone i feel i must convince that i am right and they are wrong, because what i want for them is not good just because it is good for me, or works for me and not just right because of what i say about it, but it is good and right because of what God Himself has said and wants to continue to show through my life  and testimony.
I don't know if that makes sense, but i hope it does.  The bottom line is:  I love these people i am with and i want for them to know God as He wants to be known.  I want to share His love for them, with them.  I just feel really at odds sometimes about how to go about doing this.
Well, tomorrow should be a nice day.  :)  the weather has been glorious and i hope it continues to be so!!!  T-shirt weather.....now if only i could find some tshirts to wear....lol, i only packed two!  It was suggested to me that i should go shopping....but i won't be able to take anything back with me--the bags i brought were already stuffed!  Eh, i guess i could just leave em here...I just want to buy some tshirts anyways.