Upon Return

Wow, so you know how when a girl or guy gets their first boyfriend or girlfriend and everything they say is begun with the lines, “well, so-and-so says……” or “so-and-so told me”, or “so-and-so did…..”  And every time they open their mouths it is like they have to make some sort of reference or recognition of their “significant other” and that significant other has the insight the rest of the world is dying to hear?  LOL.  Well, that is kind of how I feel like I have been since coming home from Poland…..only, my “significant other” is Poland.  J  It is quite funny really, and I only made this fascinating and rather strange (even for my standards) analogy just recently.  It seems like everything I draw some sort of connection or relation to my time in Poland and …yes, I feel it must be voiced!  LOL.

First, let me apologize for taking so long to finally get to this stage of finishing up my blog for this missions trip to Poland.  I mean…..it seemed like from the moment I touched down and saw a WATER FOUNTAIN—with unlimited, free water available to the general public—I have been in a sort of dazed stupor.  Or just been surrounded by people, or doing one thing or another, or traveling around, just so much stuff, that I haven’t had the time I really wanted to get down to business with these last entries.  But I feel like it is certainly important to kind of let people know how life is upon return.  I mean, I look back, and it has been FIVE months…..FIVE MONTHS that have totally changed my life.  And the only thing I can say is, THANK YOU GOD for moving me out of my comfort zone and into a situation that was so new and so foreign (pardon the pun :P) to me. 

If we had one of those growth charts, like what I had when I was a kid, where we watched the inches we grew from year to year, except this one was for spiritual…..I swear I was a midget before and now I seem a giant!  And the GREATEST thing is…..even though right now I feel like I am a giant compared to where I was before….in the Lord, because of how limitless God is, because of the infinite nature of His being…..as I continue to grow in Him, I am still a dwarf on my “spiritual growth chart”.  There is no end in sight to the growth God wants to accomplish in me—in all of His children!  And that my friends, is why a relationship with the maker of the universe is soooooooooo incredibly awesome—because we can never reach the end, or a point when we can really say, “I’ve experienced it all.  I got it all figured out.”  As we grow, it opens us up to even more growth.  And that, is exciting and a life I look forward to diving into with all I am.  J

So as I left Poland, I knew I wanted my life to reflect this awesome work God did in me while I was there:  how He changed the way I thought about myself, about others, about my relationship to others, about the needs I see, about things, about life, about agape love.  It is so concentrated within me, all these things I feel I have learned and experienced and God has allowed to take place in my heart; concentrated like the perfume in those old perfume bottles with the diffuser-bulbs that ladies used to use back in the day.  It reminds me of those verses about being a pleasing aroma to the Lord…..and every time someone asks me about Poland, it is like a squeeze of that bulb and all this beautiful aroma is diffused and just covers the room with the praise of God for all the wonderful things He has done for me and through me.  Is that a great picture?  We as followers, being like perfume diffusers, that when people ask us about something in our life, it is like they are squeezing that bulb that just pumps the air full of His praise and just smells so sweet to all who hear and to God himself?

Since coming home, what has happened?  Have I had “Polish withdrawals”  LOL.  I have certainly missed the life I lived in Poland; a life with one focus, one aim: to share Christ’s love with people in every and any capacity the Lord gave me opportunity to do so.  Whether it was with my flatmates, teaching English to students at a public school, encouraging my brothers or sisters in the Lord, building relationships with Polish friends, playing with kids who have had it rough, serving meals to the poor, or printing church bulletins, it was all for the aim of love—“the aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart, a good conscious and a sincere faith” (1 Timothy 1:5).  This is a verse that really spoke to me and became a mission statement for me while I was in Poland.  That in everything I did, I wanted the aim to be love, and love that flowed from a place that would yield amazing fruit for God’s glory and would withstand distance and time in the end.  And that is going to continue to be a verse that moves me through life.  Because of everything I experienced in Poland, I believe the greatest thing God was teaching and growing in my heart, is love for people.  HIS love for people.  I think there is a big difference in the ways I used to relate people only a few years ago and the ways that God has worked in my heart to allow me to relate with people now. And my time in Poland was a practical application for all the things I feel God was beginning to work in me here at home the past few years before He moved me to go to Poland.  “He who has begun a good work in you will be faithful to complete it”—AMEN and hallelujah!  Not that it is yet completed, but I felt the shift from learning certain lessons and the Lord working in my heart, to God giving me the opportunity to put those things into practice and as I was putting those things into practice, Him teaching me even MORE through it!!!  And I only expect that God will continue to work in me, transforming me into the person He has made me to be—and called me to be—and a daughter who reflects Him more and more in every aspect of my life. 

Now I will be looking to God and waiting for guidance in my future.  J  I know the step He has me on right now, for this moment: finish my semester at ASU and graduate with my teaching degree.  After that…..right now there are so many options I feel a bit overwhelmed at times to be honest.  As overwhelmed as I am excited and thankful that God has given me such vision for how I want to use my life for Him.  WHICH vision to pursue though is the question!  There seems to be so many I could see myself diving into and living a life that would totally allow me to pursue God and impact others with His love and truth—and be completely enjoyable and exciting for me because of who I am.  But if there is anything that I learned about God and His way of leading through this experience in Poland, it is that God is faithful and He does provide the next step, the answer to the question, the way when there seems to be none.  And He will provide for me in this; He will give me the answer and he will show me a way….it is all about me waiting for His perfect timing in giving me these things.  J  He takes pleasure in my dependence on Him, my faith being exercised, my heart staying near to Him as I bring my thoughts to Him.  This is intimacy with God, my Father—this time that I have to rely on Him, to bring this to Him in daily prayer and conversation, to seek answers and direction from His word and in the situations and people He brings into my life. J  And why should I try to rush that, or rob Him of the joy it gives Him in being a part of life or throw away the peace and excitement it brings me when I invite Him to be a part of my life? 

As I look forward to the future and what God holds in store for me, I am just filled with joy and excitement….but I can’t let myself get  so caught up in “what’s next?” that I lose out on the here and now, because the here and now is all I can be sure about!  And the only time I have to do what I KNOW God has called me to do— Be the light, be the salt, be the love, be different.  Make a difference in the world that is around me….daily.  If I have the desire to serve God, let it be for today, and for everyday after it until my days are out!  “What is your life? You are but a vapor that appears for a short time and then vanishes”.  I do not know what each day holds, but I know who holds each day—including each one of mine.  And I can be confident that everything I do for the Lord, though it may be small or seemingly insignificant on the human level, each and every act of love for God is precious and valuable.  Everyday then should be seen as just as important as the next and what I can do now for God, just as exciting as what He holds for me in the future.    

Catching up...or at Least I am Trying To!!

Okay, so I guess if I was to try to tell you about these past few weeks that I have NOT written…..it would be like trying to collect those little monkeys and make that chain.  It would be totally possible BUT oh so very time consuming to make all of those connections once again….because to be honest….I really cant put it all in order!  LOL.  SO!  I am going to just begin with the BIG idea…..I have been saying goodbye.  Spending any and all time I can with people, which has in effect meant little sleep—even less than I was already getting!  Hahaha, BUT!  In the words of my dear friend, “you can sleep LATER!”  And she is right; right now all I want to do is relish the time and make the most of it I can while I am here with them.  I feel like the last five months of my life have been so much more than five months should realistically feel like in terms of their value for my life.  God has been so incredibly good and the people He has put in my path have blessed me so much—even if they don’t know it, or don’t even recognize Him in it.  I am pretty sure God brought me here because I needed some working on in some major areas of my life and some minor areas.  And the people He led me to here, were a huge part of that.  When God tells me to do something NOW….i hope I am always quick to remember this time of my life and the blessing that came from it.

I am thankful for adventures.  I had a great adventure the other night! I finally was able to see the “farm” Dagmara told me about so long ago that her family has!  She hosted a party with a bunch of her friends from Hebrew class and elsewhere and it was truly a great time!  She is so silly because she kept thinking I wasn’t having a good time--that I was bored because of everyone speaking Polish—but I was really having a great time just being a part of their group!  It was a special memory I will have of my last week here.  Her farm has become one of my “favorite spots” in Poland along with a not-so-typical and really not-that-wow of a place near Most Teatralny.  It is a little park where there is a swing set with my name graffitied on it!  LOL. I know that sounds bad, but it is amazing that somewhere here there is another girl named Amanda!  I think I need to come back to find her!  But I go to swing in this park because it is covered by a canopy of trees and it is just so….serene and calm and dreamy to look up into those branches and just swing.  And they also have a teeter-totter (and when I called it this NO ONE knew what I was talking about until I described it and then everyone was like, “OH!  A see-saw you mean?  Where in the heck did teeter-totter come from?” We are taking Americans, Australians and Polish people, lol.  Does anyone else besides me call it a teeter-totter????)  I had been wanting to go on this teeter-totter for some time and FINALLY!  When Daga and I were together, SHE finally made my dreams come true!  LOL….although, she thought it was quite boring I am afraid, hahaha.  It kind of is, after a while.

I have been trying to write goodbye letters and also figure out things to get for some people back home…..not an easy task.  LOL.  Writing goodbye letters for some of the people I have come to live here is like….well HOW can I ?  There are so many important things I feel like I could say, but only the little things come to mind. But all these “little” things really just made the time I had here what it was. It was a collection of little things.  I don’t think I will ever be able to write to them the collection of all the things I have felt and experienced with them and my thoughts for them.  And just the act of saying “goodbye”….hhhhhh.  It is not a fun task. I wonder what Paul would have done with Skype?  LOL.

As I am looking back over the past five months, I feel like I have for the first time really been ALIVE.  I think of that verse about whoever would find his life should lose it….and I feel like I found life while I was here in fulfilling some greater purpose than what I normally live for back home.  I mean, here it was like, about living to reflect how great God is and show His love to others and reach out to them and serve them and …. It was different than what I have experienced at home. And I think the greatest challenges to me were not what faced me HERE, but what faces me when I return home. Not to just fall back into the rhythm of everyday life back home—the one where I am a studious student and future teacher. But remain in the life that I have found here—the life of living for Jesus in everything and trying to figure out how to best serve Him and serve others and love others and build other people up and encourage and comfort and do whatever needs to be done so that people will be like, “Wow, God is good!”  I just want to make people think, you know?  Think, and feel that maybe they haven’t taken the idea of God to the real depths it  truly has.  Even if they think they already have it all figured out.  Just to make them wonder, “Okay, that IS different….”

Today at church, Richard had us repeat; “God first, others second, then self”.  I feel like that is the key to why life has been so full for me here in Poland.  Because of trying to put that into practice.  Certainlly didn’t master it while I was here, but I can tell you I feel like I can feel a change in myself since I came here and really began to put this into practice. And whereas in the beginning it was often a need to remember to do this, in some cases I have found that I can look back and see how it was just something that kind of came naturally to me to do.  J Not that I began to just naturally act selfishly and had to stop myself to do the unselfish thing, but actually just naturally did the selfless thing!  And definitely only because God is real and HE has been working in my heart.

I just had a wonderful time with my flatmates.  J  We sat around—all four of us!!!—and just talked about my time here and my experience.  It was so nice!!  They gave me this book with all these amazing pictures of Poland and places to visit and inside they wrote: “May this album be a reason for your return, and visit more interesting places in our beautiful country.”  It was so sweet.  And I gave them each my card for them. We had some icecream and cherries.  Which I just found out that we have a cherry tree!!!!  But I am so sad because I will not be here when they are ripe. L  Which is the end of June.  Sadness.  One of their questions made me laugh:  “What about Polish men? How do you like them?”  Hahahaha, it was funny and I felt like I was back with my girlfriends in the states.  And they asked about foods I liked here, and favorite places, what I will miss, what things I did, what God did in my life, what I expected in Poland and what was actually true…..it was a special time to share with them. Especially Ula because we haven’t talked much since I don’t speak Polish and she doesn’t speak English.

The next few nights are going to be filled with goodbyes….*sigh*. 

This past week and weekend I was trying to spend as much time with anyone and everyone that I could.  Today Ola, Marcin and Sandra had a big exam and we all went out for pizza afterwards at my FAVORITE pizza place—we are talking better than ANYTHING I have had in the USA.  It is called DiGrasso.  I just love it. And it really is quite reasonable in price I think.  And the sauces that they come with, I likey a lot!!!

Alright, I know this does not do justice to the past few weeks….but it is VERY late.  And I really need some sleep for my very full day tomorrow.

OH!  I met some guys here from Arizona!  Crazy huh?  They all are actually from Phoenix and one went to ASU but now goes to U of A, and one is in seminary and another is in community college but interning at a church.  J  They are here for two months for a short term mission!  SO AWESOME!!!!  But they will be in Kaleesz doing ministry there. But I got to work with them for an afternoon collecting donations for Bread of Life at the university dorms. So that was nice….a sad confession….we actually all sang “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” theme song when we met.  Hhahahaha.  You know with Will Smith?!?!?!  I don’t remember what one of them said, but it triggered that song for me and I started to sing it and before you know it we were sitting there singing it together!!!  It was great.  Makes me chuckle to think about it.  So when they come back to the states, they are supposed to invite me to their presentation! Yay!

Alright, goodnight for reals.

PIC Serve Sunday: Awesomeness

The Team at Slaughterhouse for Serve Sunday at PIC. 

WOW!  PIC serve Day is something that needs to be adopted by MANY more churches.  What an amazing way to grow the witness of the church and to grow in fellowship with each other!  We had five different groups, at five different locations all doing the same thing: serving the community.  It was awesome to be a part of the “Slaughterhouse” group….and no that is not a horror movie.  LOL.  It is the “old slaughterhouse”, which a friend of mine who works at Fundacje, is in the process of creating a cultural center out of.  It would reach out to the community—especially targeting neglected youth through the Arts.  J  It is really an amazing project, and Marisia has sacrificed a lot and trusted the Lord for all of what she needs and continues to honor the Lord even when things are looking more “half empty” than “half full”.  Her faith in the Lord to provide is …wow, an awesome testimony to anyone who hears about trusting in the Lord and how faithful HE is to provide when He is leading you in a direction.  I feel this project is going to be used in some big ways in the future and it is awesome to be a part of it.

Britt, Marisia and I at the Slaughterhouse!

We got there at 10 am and were busy til 4pm!  There was still work to be done even, but we all  REALLY needed a shower before going to the after fellowship with the other groups.  We were quite…..smelly.  LOL.  We all worked up a good sweat.  I was SO thankful because I had prayed for clouds so that we would be spared the beating of the sun….but GOD!  (My favorite phrase in the Bible!)  Had a better solution!  A perfectly HOT SUNNY day for the activities at the Barak (no trace of clouds!), and yet….there was a wonderful canopy of trees that provided an almost completely shaded area where we were working.  J  So needless to say, we didn’t need the suntan lotion I had bought.  We were chopping, hacking, sawing, mowing, picking up trash, picking up piles and piles of dead leaves and THORNY acacia sticks (those were the worst!) and walking all of the piles to a dumpster in the next compound.  It was GREAT! And we were such a team.  J  It made me laugh when they were drinking…..HOT coffee!  :S  LOL.  Really?!!?!?!  HOOOOOOOT  coffee?  When it is like 80* almost?  LOL.  We got a tour of the inside of the building they are doing all the renovating in.  And even went down into the bomb shelter area that the Germans had built beneath it.  Crazy stuff.  I was really excited because a few of my friends—Marcin and Greg came, who are just my friends…they don’t exactly go to PIC.  Marcin has in the past, but I just asked Greg on Saturday, and he showed up!  So it was real cool.  J 



Marcin, Greg and I waitin for the tram after the
long day at Slaughterhouse and the after party! 
Notice that i am wearing blue,
Greg is wearing red and Marcin is wearing purple....
red and blue makes purple!
 I guess i am the kind of weird person who notices
stuff like THAT.  LOL



Something I will miss tremendously about Poland, is how nice the guys are here.  Like, they are REAL gentlemanly.  It really is amazing how much so.  It seems so strange to me(and silly at times) the ways that they do things, but it is certainly NICE to see guys who have the attitudes and consideration that they do.  Granted, not EVERY guy is like this I am sure, but the ones I have met are very much like this—the ones who are my friends and I have more interaction with.

Man, it is just crazy how five months of a persons life, can feel like….five years!  And yet, feel like 5 minutes!  Because I feel like I have experienced and grown so much, but yet, it feels like I have hardly been here long enough!  I can’t imagine not coming back to this place.  But I can’t imagine what God has for the future for me either.  I feel like there are so many things I want to do and so many things that are possible.  As I was walking home, I was just thanking God for so many possibilities. Just the excitement and thrill of discovering things about myself and about Him and about others these past five months.  But I was also just like, “God!  You cant give me an experience like this and then just turn me loose!  I still need direction because instead of narrowing down options for me, I feel like even more have been opened up!”  I came here hoping God was going to help me see exactly what it is HE wants me to do after I graduate…..lol….yeah, if anything, like I said, MORE options seem to have been opened to me.  I just want to jump to the next thing and prepare for it, but it seems like God doesn’t want me to be able to do that.  Maybe that is why He waits til the right moment to give me His next step.  Because He knows how much I shoot the gun.  If I knew what the future held, I wouldn’t feel the dependence  and reliance I feel on God in NOT knowing these things.

Well, it is late.  It has been a long day.  I took my first “pill” today…I got a headache.  L  Boo-hoo.  But I was out so I wanted to take something for it, since I couldn’t be at home, sleeping, LOL.  Which is usually the only thing that cures my head aches.

Amazing Race

Wow, so yesterday was just one of those days that was just so memorable and enjoyable for so many little things….it all started in the morning when I went  back to the public school after 4 weeks of not going because of their examinations and different holidays.  I was so afraid I wasn’t going to remember any of their names….or worse, that I would remember only some of their names and the others whom I did not remember would feel very discouraged.  L  BUT!  I was praisin the Lord because with the exception of two people, I remembered all of their names on my own!  And the two I didn’t, I just asked for the first letter and then I was able to remember them!  So that made me so happy, because I could see the surprise on their faces and just, the appreciation in their smiles, that after FOUR weeks of not seeing them, I could remember their names.  J

After a wonderful time with the kids at Gymnasium, I got to have a great afternoon with the kids at the Barak.  J  We were making cards for the Polish Mother’s Day!  Because it is a different day here than what it is in the States—May 26.  And there is one girl, who every time she comes, she is so interested in what I draw and color and make.  J  I don’t see her so often, she only comes every once in a while, but she just really takes an interest in my “artwork”.  So I was working alongside her for the cards and she is quite a little artist herself, so I just try to tell her how wonderful her things are too. 

After the Barak, I was on my way to meet up with the FoF group for our “Scavenger Hunt”. !!!!  Which was SOOOOOO MUCH stinkin fun!  Probably the closest I will ever come to the Amazing Race—which if anyone wants to sign up with me for THAT, I am so up for it!  On my way, I stopped to tie my shoe a little tighter.  When I started walking again, a younger guy was walking next to me….whistling.  You must understand that while whistling may be a normal past time as you walk along in the States….it is not something I have heard here….like, at all.  So I took my genuine amazement as an opportunity to build a bridge maybe with this stranger.  “You sure don’t hear a lot of people whistling as they walk in Poland.” I said and gave him a sideways glance.  He immediately stopped, and gave me a look of confusion and then slight panic.  “I do not speak any English.”  He quickly rattled off robotically, as if he had been trained to say that his whole life.  “Whistle.” I said as I made a whistle sound and smiled.  He kind of laughed and we continued to walk in silence a little longer.  “Are you sure you don’t speak English?” I said again, hoping I could get a little more hopeful of a response.   A little unsure of himself he divulged just a tiny bit more, “I speak very easy English.”  “Very little English.” I softly corrected.  “Aha,yes. Little.” He repeated. “Good job, dobrze” I said, hoping he might open up a little.  But he did not, and we walked in stride for a little ways longer until he stopped at the tram stop and I continued on. I do regret that I did not just talk to him anyways.  But most likely, he could understand some of what I was saying.  :/

The scavenger hunt was AWESOME.  We were given riddles as clues to go from one place to the next to the next. Five riddles in all.  An hour and half later, we were at our final destination….we were the WINNERS!  Piotrek, Adolfo and I had won!  And then we realized we hadn’t gotten our drink as we were supposed to before arriving at the last stop.  L  So I laced up my boots and ran to the nearest shop—a NETTO about 4 minutes—if that—away.  I jumped in line with my juice and what shoud I see…..the enemy team up in line ahead of me!!!!!  I moved into the next line over and noticed the couple in front of me were of the “student age”….”Do you speak English by chance?” I asked, to which I was so glad to hear, “Yes.”  I explained my situation, and asked if I could go in front of them with my one bottle of juice, to which they said, “Of course!  If you are in a race we HAVE to help you out!!!”   I wasn’t even looking for an open door , but here one was as they began to ask me what this race was about and who I was doing it with!  So I shared with them about FoF and invited them to come right then with me for the “After party” to which they said they would love to, but tonight was already a busy night for them.  The guy asked me what organization this student group was with and when I told him it was connected to church…..let’s just say he was surprised in his speech.  ;)  And when I asked him if he would like to join us sometime, he said, “Why the heck not?” and gave me his email address and told me to send him an email about future events.  J  I had pretty much forgotten about the excitement of the race and was totally psyched about the opportunity I had just been given to share with this couple.  I hope that they come in the future!  We will see!  As for now, I am just thankful I got the opportunity to share it with him and he seemed to be really interested in how something connected to “church” could seem so fun.  LOL.  SO that was cool.

Our victory was rewarded with……Dr. Gerard’s….a very TASTY kind of cookie.  J  Adolfo and Piotrek were of course overjoyed, as they had been hoping for chocolate the whole time, LOL, typical guys, wanting FOOD as the prize.  And I was overjoyed…once I took a bite of one of them!  They were seriously delicious.  So we just hung out at Coralanne and Eirek’s flat, eating Norwegian waffles with brown cheese and jam and fruit salad.  Brown cheese is AMAZING.  It is like caramelized cheese.  I don’t know how to explain it, but it is SOOOOOOO good and Eirek told me I CAN find it in the states, so…..i may have to introduce my fellow cheese lovers to the stuff.  J

Well, that is a good place to draw to a close.  I am getting ready to meet with Yilin, the gal I met in the park from China last week and invited her to FoF.  We are meeting at Sweet Surrender for some drinks.  J 

Ephesians 2:4-5

Those were the verses that we memorized on our ALIVE retreat this past weekend.  :)  The retreat was absolutely 100% total awesomeness.  Coralanne did such a great job with just making all the little details come together.  She even had little recipe cards for each group when we were in charge of meals--now that is foresight.  :)  Probably the greatest blessing was just what i saw as i watched everyone together.  i saw people serving eachother and investing in eachother and loving one another.  And it was just really beuatiful and great.  People opening up and sharing, people listening to the people opening up and sharing.  It was definitely a special time for a lot of us who are going to be leaving Poznan soon. 
It was so great just to be CAMPING though!  As i write this, i have flashbacks of Brooke going thorugh my mind!  That lady, LOOOOOOOOVES camping, LOL.  :)  She was so excited to be sleeping in a tent.....even while it was raining.....and she was sharing it with a bunch of kids.  hahaha, i loved her enthusiasm.  And definitely felt it myself.  I went for one of the most wonderful walks while i was out there.  it was soooooo nice to be out of the city and just....out in the open and the green and open sky and just dirt and grass and trees.  We had some awesome campfires and wonderful worship both nights.  We made some smores---OF COURSE!  And some Kielbasa--they are just as much crucial here in Poland, as Smores are in the US.  We played "telephone"....using all the different languages present in our group!!! THAT was FUN!  English, Norweigen, Polish, Taiwanese, Australian Aboriginee, Nigerian, Creole, Hungarian, Spanish and German.  WOW!  That is a lot of languages right there!
And now for a story of Gods awesomeness BEFORE the retreat....so this is like, a need for a time machine this is such OLD NEWS, LOL.  But, i ever wrote about it so i really want to share it!  So i was on my way to FoF.  AS usual i was walking, not-as-usual i decided to walk through a park.  As i was walking, i saw i was pretty early so i thought i would take a seat....which seat, was the question.  The park was pretty crowded, and th benches were definitely full...all except a seat next to a young Asian gal reading a book.  I asked her if i could take a seat next to her and she nodded yes and rearranged her stuff more closer to herself.  I was listening to my music, not planning to have any kind of conversation....i was only going to sit a few minutes and listen to my music and then be off to FoF.  But.....i felt a little nudge, i say i felt, becuase the music in my ears was a little too loud to hear the small voice and i think God knew that.  :)  So i looked over.  She was reading a Polish language learning book.  "You learning Polish?" I asked,taking the earbuds out of my ears.  She gave a chuckle, as if the idea were quite comical--which it is becuase it is so stinking hard.  But she told me that she was indeed trying, but it was....."very difficult".  So we got to talking about how we had come to be here, what we were doing here and how long we had been here and how long we were staying.  I looked to my phone and saw it was time to get going to FoF...."Well, i need to get going to my student group i am a part of. We meet at this real cool little cafe, Sweet Surrender, have you heard of it before?"  She said no and i began to describe to her what it was like and how it was the cutest little place, etc, etc, etc.  "If you want to come and check it out so you could know where it is for the future you are more than welcome to join me.  And you could even stay for the FoF meeting if you wanted.  Check it out and see if it is something that would interest you.  If you aren't busy of course!"  Well, she wasnt busy.  :)  And she did come, and she did STAY.  And in talking with her afterwards, Stephanie found out that before moving here from China, she never thought God could be real--that it just wasn;t possible.  But since she has moved here, she has been thinking about it more and more because of some of her Polish friends she has made.  :)  SOOOOOOO!  I think it is totally awesome that God put me into her path to give her just one more little nudge in His direction through inviting her to FoF where she heard hte Word of God and expereinced His love through those of us at FoF and then was interested in coming to Church at PIC!!!!  So praise God!  I am so excited to see what HE has for Yilin in the future.  And excited to be a part of it.  :) 
So yeah, it is quite late now and i have got an early morning ahead of me.  So i think i am gonna turn in.

Sharing in the Bookstore

Wow, so i just have to share something about just going out on a limb and the Lord totally blessing it!  Yesterday i was meeting up with some friends to go to Gniezno to prep Rich and Brooke's yard more for hte ALIVE retreat.  And that morning, i was like, "God i want to to share you with at least ONE person today, so please direct my study of your Word this morning so that i can have somehting to share with someone."  And the Lord totally blessed my study and then i got to the train station and the whole way i could feel like this kind of nervousness and just like, hesitation.  I looked around and was like, "Okay Lord please direct me to the right person you would want me to share this stuff with."  And i walked past the little bookstore and a girl my age was in there all alone working.  I felt like this was the one the Lord had in mind.  So i walked in and began to look around and said, "wow, it must be lonely in here huh?"  And she kind of laughed and said, "Yeah, it is pretty boring."  We joked about how it made money though, so that was what is important.  I asked her if she was a student and she told me she was....she was studying religion.  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WOW, i was just floored and before i knew what i was saying it just came out of me, "Really?  I have a question for you then!  What do you think about the death of Osama Bin Laden?  I mean, according to what your religious beliefs are?"  And then she shared her feelings that she thought it was ridiculous the way people were so public and forthright in their celebration of his death and that it was not a good response--yes, that it was a good thing, but that it should not be made such a public display of celebration.  I agreed with her and once again before i knew it, i was sharing with her all the verses and all the things the Lord had showed me about His heart in the situation that morning.  I had been in Matthew 5:38-43 when He is giving his command to love our enemies even as we love those who aer good to us.  And ending with "you therefore be perfect even as your Father in heaven in perfect."  I asked her what she thought about that....about the command to be perfect even as God is perfect and what that meant to her.  And then she shared that she thought it was impossible to which i responded, "well, at first it does seem impossible!  So that is why i knew i needed to study it further and answer this question.  Because why would God ask us to do something impossible?"  So then i shared with her all the things the Lord had spoken to me in answer of that question.  And by the end, she was saying she thought she was not a good person and for her to be perfect would be impossible but it could be possible for others.  And then i gave her some verses from Ephesians 2:8-10 about salvvation being a gift of God and not about us and what we do.  and i shared with her what it was Jesus had done and what He wanted to offer her--regardless of her beign a "good person" or "bad person".  What the Lord will do with this in her heart, i only hope is give her a thirst for Him or quench the thirst that maybe had already been there.  But i plan to try to see her again.  And i am definitely praying for her.
So yeah!  It was just awesome to share so directly something the Lord taught me and letting God overcome fears inside of me.  And i hope that it is just one more seed that will bear great fruit in the future. 
Gnieno was awesome!  We even went out to the NEW LIFE CENTER which i have been wanting to see sinc i came here.  We went to pick up some wood but we got a tour of the place and got to meet some of the men that are currently in the program.  I even got a job offer!  LOL, my first PAYING job offer, ha-ha!  The story is, the men there chop wood into firewood, it is like one of the sources of income for the center and also provides the men with a way to be productive and learn work ethic while they are in the program.  So....I decided that chopping wood looked to be fun and i went out with them and gave them a break.  LOL. I was out there chopping wood with a bunch of guys who were of course trying to speak English with me and Polish!  And even some DUTCH, because one of the guys was from the Netherlands!!!  They were all so impressed with my wood chopping skills.  I somehow always get teh nickname of "Strong woman" wherever i go on Mission Trips.  LOL.  Which i think is funny and i think is really cool.  And i think it is cool God created me with this love for physical work, becuase i think it brings people to a place of like, partnership and a place of commonality.  I dont know, i think there is something really cool in just working together with people physically to get stuff done.  I dont know how to explain it.  But i think it was also just a blessing for these guys, because they were "teaching" me to chop wood.  And it probably made them feel super feeling that they were teachign me and seeing that i wanted to include myself in their work with them. even though they were so dirty and sweaty and .....like working men, LOL.  So i got to talk with them a little because the guy from Netherlands spoke a little English.  And if i come back to Poland, i would love to teach English at the Center. 
I think the ministry--just the little time i spent there-- hearing Rich and Brooke talk about it and the lives that have been changed there, is just such a great ministry and Jesus would totally want to be there!! And i totally want to be where He would want to be.  I can just see that place as a place where Jesus thinks about it, or sees it and just smiles becuase of how beautiful it is to Him. 
So Rich and Brooke fed us a wonderful authentic Polish meal--courtesy of the local restaurant ;) -- and then Juice, Kristian, Jason and I started the work on the "farm".  I have decided that my kids are not having a swing set.....ever.  LOL.  They can have a tree swing if we have a tree, otherwise, nope, just not happening.  UNLESS, my husband wants to put it in....by himself.  Hahaha.
Rich and Brooke made us some excellent BBQ for dinner!  I ate more meat yesterday then i have eaten in a while!!!  LOL, it was GREEEEEEEET!  Too bad we had to catch a train at 9:45.  :(  It would have been nice to chill together for a while after the afternoon of work.  But it was great to gather around the table.  we were laughing and just haivng a great time the whole day together. it was such a refresher to be with them and working together and outside doign the work.  It was a great day. 
And i just feel like it was such a great day because of how it began....just me wanting to do something for the Lord, to share with someone what He had given me that morning in His word. And i relaly believe form that point on, i was just so filled...like doing that gave me so much joy and just increased my faith and made me realize how much i can trust Him and how simple it is just to rely on Him.
Going back in time another day to Sunday.....Mother's Day!....i got to talk with my Mommy on her way to Phoenix which was real nice and i am glad she was she glad.  :) And i told her about the bike ride i had gone on that afernoon after church and told her how i totally want to take her to these areas when she comes.  The bike ride was GORGEOUS!  It was just a few miles outside of Poznan, but it felt MILES and miles away.  It was such beautiful countryside....i almost felt like i was in Montana!!!  That is what it reminded me of.  I was invited to go wtih Klaudia and her family along with Coralanne and Melanie.  :)  It was so much fun...and so crazy to do some kind of"driving"  lol. But the great thign about a bike, is you never forget!!!  I cant wait to drive when i get home.....NOOOOOOOOOT!  I have thoroughly enjoyed my ability to cast off all burdens of transportation  other than public transit and walking.  I am going to probably go crazy in Phoenix....i am pretty sure.  So i have decided that i will try to buy a new bike with some of my "Education money" that i can just use that to get around more comfortably....since my student teaching will be in Scottsdale. 
Okay, well i have to get going, unfortunately.  :(  I feel like i can never write enough abbout stuff, but then i dont know where to begin either!  So i hope the highlights you get are interesting.  Have a great day!!!!

Trying Not to Wind Down...

Ok, so this past week has felt....a little weird.  I mean, it is like what my dad always tried to teach me when I was in a race (ironic huh? that i am using such an analogy here!!??) and I came to the finish line...i would always tend to let myself slow down right when the end was in sight, right when i knew there were only a few more bounds left before i would cross the finish line.  BUT!  My Dad, always said that the very end was the most important place to push yourself the  hardest for those last few steps across the finish line....and i am trying to keep such great advice in this race. I was telling my mom how i know the enemy is going to want me to settle down, think to myself, "Ah, you have done so much!  Sit back and enjoy things for a bit. You are leaving soon anyways, not much you can do between now and the time you leave!"  But that is where i KNOW he is wrong. Now is not the time to let my hands, my heart or my mind check out of the race.  Now is the time to water all the seeds that have been sown.  To continue to plant more seeds.  And as i read R.C Sprouls, "The Soul's Quest For God", i realize how important it is that i sow the seeds of God's Word into their lives.  Not just my actions, my life being a witness; not just learning about them and letting them learn about me--but intentionally bringing them to the Word of God.....how to do that is the real difficulty.  Many of them continuously dodge my invites to church and college group and should i open up the Word of God in a party or club with them.....? 
And now that i am sitting here, thinking about it, i wonder, is it some lack of faith that is having me trying to plan for "successful" Bible discussions with these friends?  Why do i think I have to do it any specific way for it to be "successful"?  And what do i mean by "successful"?  Comfortable?  Assured of a positive response?  Sincere and authentic?  I just want to bring the Gospel to them in a way that is real, that will cause them to question--to be hungry and thirsty for the Truth--, and that the Holy Spirit would illuminate the knowledge so that it isn't only held in their head but is felt with their hearts.
I am thinking.....i would love to have one on one time with each of them.  Maybe, i could set up to meet with  each one of my friends here with the intention of sharing the Gospel with them.  Or maybe the way i share the Gospel with them could be slightly different for each of them....maybe some of them it would be better to bless them with a bouquet and some verses written and the Gospel about Jesus.  Or maybe a book that would really help them discover God, or create a heart that is thirsty and hungry for the Truth.  hmmmmm...going to be thinking of this.
I finished an amazing book called, "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper, and i am now in the process of R.C Sproul's "The Soul's Quest For God".  I do not think anything happens by chance, and i know that i stumbled upon that book for a reason.  It made me realize many things, one of which i think will help me in life for the rest of my life!  That is that EVERY single thing we experience in life, is a measure of God's mercy.  Because in reality, the ONLY thing we deserve apart from God's mercy, is Hell.  And God's mercy--which He then in His goodness adds grace--is bought through the Cross of Christ.  Because of that truth, my whole life should be the continuous pursuit to bring glory to God.  Every decision, every pleasure, through every pain, every "sacrifice", every priority should be find its source in HIM so that all the praise and glory goes to Him.
So i was in the kitchen with my flat mate, Ula (the only one who does not speak English but is trying to learn!!) and she tells me "You hear....Osama Bin Laden dead?"  And then i heard it on the radio...in Polish of course, but sure enough, they were talking about his death!  And i jus thought it was crazy, that here i was in a Polish kitchen, with a Polish flatmate, listening to a Polish radio station and hearing about the death of a man detested by most of the world.  The first thoughts i had were probably not conventional...but i thought of what my reaction should be.  I didn't feel the need to....celebrate, or really the desire to; i didn't feel a sense of triumph, as if some problem had been fixed; i didn't feel....anything really, except, this confusion about how i should feel.  The verses in Proverbs came to mind about rejoicing at the death of the wicked, but then also the proverbs about not rejoicing at the defeat of your enemy lest God turn His hand away and bring back on the victor.  I thought about what evil really is, and what justice really is.  And i wondered what good--and what evil--will result from this. I don't know....i certainly think Osama's death is justified--he was evil, and was the cause of great evil...but what does his death accomplish?  And what does it reflect about those who celebrate his death?  Why are people not so passionate about other kinds of evil?  Why don't we pursue to purge the world of other kinds of evil so we can celebrate ridding ourselves of TRUE EVIL, which i dont believe is the actual person, but what is inside the person--the nature--which is expressed through a person in thier behaviors.  We have successfully gotten rid of the vessel of that evil....but the evil is still there....i don't know, maybe i will receive many  raised eyebrows at this, but it really just got me to thinking about the underlying things of this whole situation.
Okay, so moving onto greener pastures.....LOL, i am having dreams about.....CHILIS!!! LOL....I want my baby back, baby back, baby back....yes, that is right.  I need to win the Lottery so i can bring my Polish friends to the USA and they can come to Chilis with me. :)  It is the best plan i have so far.  :) :) :)  and my dreams foretell i will bring them to CHILIS.  Yes, i am looking forward to seeing and being with all the people i have missed so much while i was here in Poland.....but really, man, i am going to miss the friends i have made HERE so much. 
Well, i am going to read some of my R.C Sproul book before i go to bed!  Goodnight!