Ok, so this past week has felt....a little weird. I mean, it is like what my dad always tried to teach me when I was in a race (ironic huh? that i am using such an analogy here!!??) and I came to the finish line...i would always tend to let myself slow down right when the end was in sight, right when i knew there were only a few more bounds left before i would cross the finish line. BUT! My Dad, always said that the very end was the most important place to push yourself the hardest for those last few steps across the finish line....and i am trying to keep such great advice in this race. I was telling my mom how i know the enemy is going to want me to settle down, think to myself, "Ah, you have done so much! Sit back and enjoy things for a bit. You are leaving soon anyways, not much you can do between now and the time you leave!" But that is where i KNOW he is wrong. Now is not the time to let my hands, my heart or my mind check out of the race. Now is the time to water all the seeds that have been sown. To continue to plant more seeds. And as i read R.C Sprouls, "The Soul's Quest For God", i realize how important it is that i sow the seeds of God's Word into their lives. Not just my actions, my life being a witness; not just learning about them and letting them learn about me--but intentionally bringing them to the Word of God.....how to do that is the real difficulty. Many of them continuously dodge my invites to church and college group and should i open up the Word of God in a party or club with them.....?
And now that i am sitting here, thinking about it, i wonder, is it some lack of faith that is having me trying to plan for "successful" Bible discussions with these friends? Why do i think I have to do it any specific way for it to be "successful"? And what do i mean by "successful"? Comfortable? Assured of a positive response? Sincere and authentic? I just want to bring the Gospel to them in a way that is real, that will cause them to question--to be hungry and thirsty for the Truth--, and that the Holy Spirit would illuminate the knowledge so that it isn't only held in their head but is felt with their hearts.
I am thinking.....i would love to have one on one time with each of them. Maybe, i could set up to meet with each one of my friends here with the intention of sharing the Gospel with them. Or maybe the way i share the Gospel with them could be slightly different for each of them....maybe some of them it would be better to bless them with a bouquet and some verses written and the Gospel about Jesus. Or maybe a book that would really help them discover God, or create a heart that is thirsty and hungry for the Truth. hmmmmm...going to be thinking of this.
I finished an amazing book called, "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper, and i am now in the process of R.C Sproul's "The Soul's Quest For God". I do not think anything happens by chance, and i know that i stumbled upon that book for a reason. It made me realize many things, one of which i think will help me in life for the rest of my life! That is that EVERY single thing we experience in life, is a measure of God's mercy. Because in reality, the ONLY thing we deserve apart from God's mercy, is Hell. And God's mercy--which He then in His goodness adds grace--is bought through the Cross of Christ. Because of that truth, my whole life should be the continuous pursuit to bring glory to God. Every decision, every pleasure, through every pain, every "sacrifice", every priority should be find its source in HIM so that all the praise and glory goes to Him.
So i was in the kitchen with my flat mate, Ula (the only one who does not speak English but is trying to learn!!) and she tells me "You hear....Osama Bin Laden dead?" And then i heard it on the radio...in Polish of course, but sure enough, they were talking about his death! And i jus thought it was crazy, that here i was in a Polish kitchen, with a Polish flatmate, listening to a Polish radio station and hearing about the death of a man detested by most of the world. The first thoughts i had were probably not conventional...but i thought of what my reaction should be. I didn't feel the need to....celebrate, or really the desire to; i didn't feel a sense of triumph, as if some problem had been fixed; i didn't feel....anything really, except, this confusion about how i should feel. The verses in Proverbs came to mind about rejoicing at the death of the wicked, but then also the proverbs about not rejoicing at the defeat of your enemy lest God turn His hand away and bring back on the victor. I thought about what evil really is, and what justice really is. And i wondered what good--and what evil--will result from this. I don't know....i certainly think Osama's death is justified--he was evil, and was the cause of great evil...but what does his death accomplish? And what does it reflect about those who celebrate his death? Why are people not so passionate about other kinds of evil? Why don't we pursue to purge the world of other kinds of evil so we can celebrate ridding ourselves of TRUE EVIL, which i dont believe is the actual person, but what is inside the person--the nature--which is expressed through a person in thier behaviors. We have successfully gotten rid of the vessel of that evil....but the evil is still there....i don't know, maybe i will receive many raised eyebrows at this, but it really just got me to thinking about the underlying things of this whole situation.
Okay, so moving onto greener pastures.....LOL, i am having dreams about.....CHILIS!!! LOL....I want my baby back, baby back, baby back....yes, that is right. I need to win the Lottery so i can bring my Polish friends to the USA and they can come to Chilis with me. :) It is the best plan i have so far. :) :) :) and my dreams foretell i will bring them to CHILIS. Yes, i am looking forward to seeing and being with all the people i have missed so much while i was here in Poland.....but really, man, i am going to miss the friends i have made HERE so much.
Well, i am going to read some of my R.C Sproul book before i go to bed! Goodnight!
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